How to Be Kinder to Yourself: 25 Self-Guided Ways to Be More Trauma-Informed with YOU

Ever caught yourself saying things to yourself that you would never say to a friend? Yeah, same.

We tend to be our own worst critics, replaying past mistakes, pushing through exhaustion, and expecting ourselves to be always resilient. But what if we started treating ourselves with the same trauma-informed care we extend to others? What if we acknowledged our struggles with gentleness, honored our needs, and allowed space for healing?

Being trauma-informed with yourself means recognizing that you’ve been through some things—and that you deserve patience, support, and kindness as you navigate life. No more gaslighting your own emotions or pushing yourself past your limits. Sound good? Let’s dive into 25 self-guided ways you can start showing up for YOU.

The Heart of Self-Compassion

"Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love." – Brené Brown

At Another Chapter Counselling, we remind clients (and ourselves!) that healing isn’t about “getting over it”—it’s about moving through it, with grace. Trauma-informed care starts with awareness, curiosity, and self-compassion. So, whether you’re in Kelowna looking for counselling, seeking virtual therapy, or just want to be gentler with yourself, these strategies are here to guide you.

25 Ways to Be More Trauma-Informed with Yourself

Acknowledge Your Story

1. Remind yourself: What you’ve been through matters—and so does your healing.
2. Ditch the “shoulds.” Healing doesn’t follow a timeline. Your pace is the right pace.
3. Name your feelings. No more “I’m fine” when you’re not fine.
4. Ask yourself: What do I need? And then actually listen.
5. Recognize triggers without judging yourself for having them.

Set Boundaries Like You Mean It

6. Rest without guilt. You’re not lazy, you’re human.
7. Say “no” more often. It’s a full sentence.
8. Limit energy-draining people (even if they’re nice).
9. Unfollow accounts that make you feel “less than.”
10. Give yourself permission to take up space.

Rewire Your Inner Voice

11. Catch self-criticism and reframe it with kindness.
12. Replace “I’m too much” with “I am enough.”
13. Talk to yourself like you would a beloved friend.
14. Celebrate small wins (Yes, putting on pants counts).
15. Practice self-forgiveness—because mistakes are part of growth.

Calm Your BODY

16. Prolonged Exhale
17. Try Vocal Stimulation (humming or singing).
18. Use Senses (What do you see, hear, taste, smell or touch?).
19. Move your body in ways that feel good (not just “productive”).
20. Hold a warm drink—it signals safety to your brain.

Prioritize Rest & Joy

21. Put joy on your to-do list. (Seriously, schedule it.)
22. Go outside—nature is free therapy.
23. Turn off your phone when you need space. (seriously... get away from that stimulation.)
24. Laugh more. (funny videos, fun people, etc.)
25. Seek support. Healing happens in community.

Your Next Chapter Starts with You

If reading this list made you realize just how hard you’ve been on yourself, consider this your sign to soften. You are worthy of the same care and support you offer to others. And if you’d like a little help along the way, we’re here for you.

Book a session with a trauma-informed counsellor at Another Chapter.
Explore more insights on mental health at www.anotherchapter.ca.
Follow us on Instagram @anotherchapter.ca for daily encouragement.
Have questions? Reach out to us at info@anotherchapter.ca.

You don’t have to do this alone. Your healing story is still being written—let’s make the next chapter one of self-compassion, joy, and genuine care.