What are love languages and why am I writing about gift giving?
Now is your time to learn a little bit more about ways to show love to others who appreciate receiving gifts!
Plot twist, if YOU are a person who speaks this love language, there are some tips on how you can add it to personalizing your self-care and self-love practices!
Posted: July 11, 2021
Disclaimer: Although I am a mental health professional, all information and reflections are meant for educational purposes only. If you plan to make changes in your life, it may be worth consulting with loved ones and/or your wellness team. Also, this post may contain affiliate links that will connect you with some pretty cool products and when making a purchase through those links, I receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.
Gary Chapman is the marriage counselling mastermind behind the concept of the Five Love Languages. If you have never heard of this, it is time you do!
His book The Five Love Languages has multiple versions, been updated multiple times throughout the years and in a variety of languages. There is likely some truth behind his words since this is the case!
What are they?
Don’t know which one you fall under? Click HERE to do one of the quizzes!
To generalize, the idea is that head over heels love typically has an expiry date of being “enough” of about 2 years. It’s a pattern that was seen repeatedly! Why? Because partners were not feeling loved!
The lovey dovey excitement begins to fade if our “love tanks” are not being filled and we EACH have different ways we want to be shown love. Funny enough, it is typically the way we show love too!
But wait… what if our loved ones don’t have the same love language? Welp, that is where Gary Chapman’s book or these blog posts come in! Although Gary’s focus is on couples or children, there is more information coming forward regarding people recommending the use of love languages toward self-care too!
This series of posts is going to include ways to show love to others AND ourselves using love languages! Keep reading to learn more about Gift Giving.
Gifts are a visual symbolization of love according to Gary Chapman. I happen to agree and like to think of it as a memento or reminder that someone was thoughtful enough to think of me.
This does not mean expensive, nor does it mean objects. The most important piece of this love language is being thoughtful!
For the person who feels loved when receiving gifts, do not take advantage by trying to bribe them out of a sticky spot or get something you want. This strictly needs to come from a place of thoughtful kindness.
Also, don’t put yourself in a terrible spot by purchasing gifts outside of your means. If it is going to cost you grief later, than the quick happiness that occurred may not be worth the downfall.
It’s the same if you are using this as self-love. Find a balance between rewarding yourself and using purchases to cope with significant stress. Shop therapy is only therapeutic in the right context.
– Have a list of gift ideas you overhear.
– Consider making something.
– If you are travelling, think of a good souvenir.
– Be thoughtful for big events.
– Do a small gift a day for a week.
– Bring a gift on a random day without warning.
– Ask your partner to write a list of things they like to get.
Buy an Experience
“Stuff” can be great, but memories are typically far more meaningful when considering what we purchase for ourselves. Is there a trip, entertainment, or hobby that you could use for some self-care?
Sometimes we spoil ourselves a little too much and others when we don’t do it enough. If you consider making gifts happen when finishing a goal, then try writing some down! This way you feel rewarded for good work, but you also won’t forget to treat yourself!
Quality over Quantity
For a purchase to really feel like self-care and not problematic shopping, make sure you only spend money on things you truly want at the quality you want.
Sure, you can splurge on a bunch of things, but a meaningful self-gifted item is going to be far more impactful on your feel-good feelings.
Regular Subscription Package
Something I love to do is have a subscription to some form of box, magazine, or food source. Because they come on a regular basis, I never forget to gift things to myself! It is typically a surprise of the day it shows up dependent on the package, which also adds to the fun.
Want more information? Read HERE.
Hopefully you’ve learned some new ways to show love to yourself and others who find quality time meaningful and wonderful!
Chapman, G. (2021). The 5 Love Languages. Northfield Publishers.